Monday, October 30, 2006
im back! hahs.. stand by me by oasis is nice.. heard it frm cus's blog..
craved,missed,thoughts,loved,liked,kissed,
hugged,held,saw,looked,worried.
i did everything, to jus see a glimpse of light.
e light tht shone on me when i was in darkness
u lighted up my life
its gonna be a great song afterall :)
What a feeling!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
take a step back.. look at e bigger picture..
its been awhile.. browse thru old files today.. saw old conversations .. somehow they were saved.. hahas.. so my english aint that good.. nt gd enough to comment on ppl.. lol.. i TaLk lIdDaT Last tImeX wOrz.. hahaha.. ok.. thts pretty craps.. a few years makes big changes.. lol..
was kinda happy today though.. lol.. put my msn nick- its e lonely season .. and surprisingly.. a fren.. sort of pen pal.. but we dun xchange mails.. jus talk online sometimes.. been awhile since i last talked to him.. like maybe 6 months? and he initiated a convo.. said.. heys burntman ( thts wad he call me) .. damned u hurt?.. " hahas.. gd frens are always around.. jus that i dun notice.. damned.. lol.. did some catching up.. hahas.. he's 22.. gave me pretty gd advices and always encouraged me.. lol.. even though jus pen pals.. but.. felt close.. like long lost buds.. lol.. feels great.. lol
What a feeling!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
i cant express myself =((
bad expressor
hrms ok i noe.. something came into my mind..
if telling a girl i like her i shud go upfront and say :" damned.. i so like u.. " LOL craps.. EOA
What a feeling!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
jus praying that my appeal gets thru successfully.. life gets pretty shag nowadays..
i dunno wad im thinking.. but.. i jus cant stop thinkin of it.. k sounds abit cliche.. but.. sometimes.. its nt me that wan to think bout you jus tat things bout u jus keeps appearing.. hahs.. coincidental world.. sometimes i jus hope maybe like a note is left somewhr for me. sometimes i really wanna read ur mind.. cause.. not knowing e answer and still hoping for something.. yea it sucks.. hanging in suspense.. and sometimes i myself dun even noe wad im thinking is right.. i tot last time you knew wad i was thinking.. but in e end i found out u wun noe till i say..
a failure in relationships , im not a person tht noes how to xpress my feelings to someone i like.. i cant catch hints or wadsoever from a girl cause the only way i noe is that she tells me.. hahas.. might sound absurd but its true in life that in front of a girl u really like, i'm not myself.. lol.. not the same.. hahas.. u tend to stutter , dunno wad u're talking about and trying e best to make her smile but u realise u're not doing anything funny to make her smile and while thinking of wad to say next, she thinks that u dun wanna talk and the awkward silence comes..
i enjoyed walking with u, even not talking,, silence thruout, i enjoyed walking because of ur presence beside me.. i enjoyed lookin at u even though i dont dare to look into someone's eyes, be it close buddies / family.. e moment i look at someone's eyes my eyes wander off .. hahas.. i wanna protect you i wanna know you i wanna be with you..
but well.. reality is harsh.. somewhere in deep deep deep in my heart / brain.. i noe.. i really noe.. somethings cant happen, no matter how u want it or how u hope u have it... and knowing that im not at all good looking nor do i have a lean/muscular body though im dying for them.. maybe only at the most.. my height is higher than average? .. true as the saying goes look at the insides of a person not the outside.. but well.. i can say.. 99% of humans will use the outlook of a person as the first impression.. in another words.. the face / body of a person decides almost everything on the first look.. and almost all girls want their other half to be tall,dark,handsome, mr nice guy.
o lvls coming for my buds.. hope everything goes well for them..
shun shun li li~
hahas
and damnit.. my sun burn hurts.. lol..
anyone game for another round of tan on weds?? hehehe
What a feeling!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Waiting for the other person to make the first move is bad. Taking control is good.
If you respect your own feelings, you will teach other people to do the same.
decode this rhwfy =D
i LOVE BONELESS CHICKEN LEG STUFFED WITH SHITAKE MUSHROOMS WITH MASHED POTATO ON THE BASE.. yum yum
What a feeling!
Friday, October 13, 2006
he: whats wrong?
she: nothing
he: is it your dad?
she: no
-silence-
she: do you think bout the future?
she: what do you see?
he: what do you see?
she: im serious
he: [deep breath] you
he: i see you
- smiles from the girl and some kisses -
he: what do you see?
- girl gets off car without reply
the guy drives away thinking of her
only to noe that he drifted abit far away from the lane
he loses control
car crashes
flips a few times
- guy passed away
she didnt had a chance to tell him
that she saw him too..
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
love is mysterious yet miraculous..
it can bring a person to heaven
while on the other hand bring another person to hell
the hell of pain
deep pain
in within
the heart
that is uncurable =(
its hard to like
harder to love
but its hardest
to FORGET
What a feeling!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
It wasn't possible, so I believed it wasn't true
Me loving you, these words don't even make sense
I'm probably just jealous, I guess I'm getting lonely
I hid my feelings before but I just can't do it anymore
Maybe we are not suited to each other
It would be good if we are just friends
From one to ten, we never agree on anything
How can we have a relationship?
People say we won't be able to do it
I've been surrounded by those words and I don't want to be anymore.
(Bridge)
I didn't realize how I felt about you,
Why couldn't I see? It was right in front of me
That whole time you were right next to me
Why is it now that I finally see that it is love?
(Chorus)
I think I love you
I think I love you that's how it seems
Cause I miss you
Cause I miss you when you're not around
I can't do anything except think about you
If I look at how things are I know
I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you, I didn't realize it but
Now I need you, somehow deep in my heart it grew
Now all I want to do is take care of you
nice lyrics of a song from full house
What a feeling!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
i stood there with the sun shining on my back.. looking upon my own long shadow due to the orange setting sun.. i felt loneliness.. the feeling aint good.. daunted upon myself tht i'm alone.. in this huge and wide world.. for a moment.. i felt alone.. the breeze blowing upon my face.. the sounds of the tides crashing upon the shores.. i knew it.. its the place.. somewhere i can find my ownself.. a place to let me able to reach out to my deep within.. i was talking.. in my mind.. with another ' ben ' living deep within me.. the true , real ben.. i talked to him.. myself..
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
What a feeling!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
wad for regretting a decision when b4 making it u already noe u WILL regret in future.. lol.. be like me.. make a decision.. dun regret at it because u noe at that time.. u MADE the decision at ur own will.. so dun scold urself.. and dun blame urself... cause.. u will one day get tired of scolding urself.. and im already tired.. so.. dun regret =)
human nature are alike to a worm.. those worms that curl into a circle when they feel threatened..
it takes a long time to unwind ur self open again after u've curled into the own darkness of urself.. once bitten twice shy.. but after the bite.. u take triple or even four times the time to unwind urself back into the normal state.. or even worst.. u can never unwind back into ur normal own self.. cause.. u've turned wary of the ppl around u.. u dun really trust anyone around u.. u become self obsessed.. lols.. so well.. humans change and u'll never noe wad lies ahead of u.. a disaster? an unexpected fortune? so.. be urself.. do wad u wan to.. cause u nvr noe one day u might not have the chance to do it again =x
i pray to god u'd gimme one more chance girl [ erm.. meaningful lyrics ]
What a feeling!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Someone is waiting for you to do or say something that you have been putting off for way too long. Are you afraid of their reaction? Are you intimidated by their reputation? Toss all your concerns out the window -- there is no need to hide your true intentions or desires. You need to open up and move things forward without any hesitation. Even if they don't go in the direction you want them to. You will get satisfaction just getting something going.
What a feeling!
